At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
