For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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