How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
