Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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