my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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