Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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