When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
