You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
