you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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