do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
