what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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