you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
