Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
