my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
