why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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