I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
