Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
