did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
