My friends, they love my intelligence
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
