Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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