so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need water and some morals
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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