i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
