He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
