You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
