it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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