you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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