Sponge bath it is.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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