question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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