I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
