We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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