her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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