I hate your face
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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