My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
