i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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