Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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