yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
