guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
