and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
