1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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