another moral hangover. fuck.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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