Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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