She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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