The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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