You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
