i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
