he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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