I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
