I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
