So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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