I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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