My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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