"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
